Vulnerability

Explain, in your own words, what you think being vulnerable means and how you see it play out in your life. Why do you think it is so challenging for people to be vulnerable? What are advantages and disadvantages to being vulnerable?

Vulnerability is a trait and expression that is far underused in our day to day lives. It is something that I personally find myself avoiding often in what I believe is a learned pattern of behavior, due to the undervaluation or stigmatization of vulnerability, especially with respect to masculinity. These contradicting concepts were brought together during my pledge education process through my fraternity, where we watched the same TED talk by Brené Brown as the one in class. The lessons that I learned about vulnerability in such a masculine-centric environment were powerful due to this juxtaposition and I am happy to explore them further in this discussion.

I believe that being vulnerable means being "OK" with being honest and open. Like Brené said, vulnerability was not described as comfortable by those that exercised it, as it is not meant to be, but that it has a lot to do with being true to who you are. Being vulnerable does not feel good, but plenty of things that are good for us may not feel good. Exercise, many would argue, does not feel good but has an overall positive effect on one's health; similarly, being vulnerable may cause discomfort, but the results from expressing your true self or making yourself capable of being harmed overall enriches you more than locking it up.  I personally see myself avoiding being vulnerable too much in my life and not being open enough. I tend to overthink, and see it contributing to my fear of being vulnerable with people around me. Being vulnerable is also a lot of discussing one's self with others, something that I try to not overdo or am very conscious of when I do, making me a little uneasy doing so as well. 

I believe that it is challenging for people to be vulnerable for a variety of reasons. Similar to what I said about myself and my vulnerability earlier, I believe lots of people are conscious about talking about themselves and do not want to talk bring up themselves as a topic of conversation for sake of not sounding rude. Even though the things that are discussed in vulnerable conversations tend to be heavy subjects, this aversion from discussing oneself contributes to quieting even important conversations. As a culture we have an aversion to making ourselves vulnerable, something that I believe comes from the pedestal upon which we put capitalism and thus competition. We are afraid of others using our weaknesses against us if we show them, or that they make us a weaker person to show. Revealing vulnerability has plenty of advantages; it shows the humanity in the demonstrator and is a clear display of maturity to be okay with being uncomfortable and imperfect in front of one's peers. It can put one's peers at ease to show vulnerability and create a relationship not just based on each others's achievements, but each others flaws (which often are what are on our mind all day anyway). Vulnerability can have disadvantages based on the peers that are around and whether they want to take one's vulnerability and use it against them,  but other than that I do not see a way that being vulnerable is directly detrimental to the one opening up.

Values and Their Expression

Values are a common way that people and organizations define themselves. They set individuals apart from one and other by what they put "value" in as they go through day to day life. The VIA test that we took in class listed a comprehensive set of common values that the user appeared to exhibit in the order of the strength with which they are expressed. My very first value that VIA identified was "judgement," followed closely by "perspective." These fall under the heading of "Wisdom and Knowledge," an area that I am glad is identified in my most expressed values based on a recent shift, in the form of a fast forward, in my academic goals. Utilizing this area of values, as opposed to temperance or transcendence, is important to me as I have to rely highly on my senses of judgement and perspective in order to form plans that have life or career altering implications before employing the rest of my values in how I choose to execute these plans.


Authenticity in relation to values in my experience is understanding what one's values are and making sure to stay true to them. Not understanding what one's values are would lead to being inauthentic since there isn't a way to excel or show one's true self without understanding what that self is. This kind of inauthenticity is common since most people do not reflect on their defining values in the task and achievement focused culture that we live in. Often we are seen as defined by our achievements or accomplishments, when really the driving, motivating values that lead to these achievements are what are worth exploring. Exploring these values leads to authenticity as one understands and develops these values and learns to express them better and better. Learning to express them is the best way to be authentic, since trying to alter them or express something else as a large part of yourself is not as efficient or easy as those that are your truest values.